Hellooo Nurse! The Science Behind What Makes a Nurse So Attractive

Ever notice that many female nurses you meet are very attractive. Hot, cute, gorgeous, sexy or however you describe her. Of course she was attractive to you when you first met her, but then you found out she donned those adorable scrubs to her day job… or night job or possibly even graveyard shift that she works 2 weeks a month with a rotating Saturday mid-shift every other week… and then you went gaga. Something about the profession is attractive; I mean, look at the racks in your local costume and Halloween superstore. Guaranteed  there will be a little “naughty nurse” outfit along with the nun, librarian, policewoman and other assorted sexy yet typically mundane career costume, but why bother though. Just google the term “nurse outfit”. Nursing has forever been a sought after career for many men’s better halves to be in.

A bit of a background:

Cool artist rendering of Yakko Warner, the older of the Warner Bros. on the series the Animaniacs
Cool artist rendering of Yakko Warner, the older of the Warner Bros. on the series the Animaniacs. Source: DeviantArt

I will confess that this occupational crush of mine started as early as grade school. Before I had a car, I would wait at the hospital my mom worked at before catching a ride home with her after school. I rode the bus there since it did not go way out where we lived in the country, so I would wait in the break room until 5 o’clock or so. She worked in accounts payable and naturally worked closely with the pharmaceutical salespeople. I was always snacking on the leftover donuts, sandwiches, or my favorite were the Edible Arrangements the “healthy alternative” reps brought in. They fashionably fed the doctors to entice them to come down to the break room to hear their latest spiel. Boy, I had overheard a number of pitches over the years for everything from Ambien to Zoloft. It was great to witness early on for it served my own sales career later down the road. Looking back, I was of course scarfing these down the sandwiches in a bit of secrecy from the doctors who just tore through the schmorgousboard themselves. To my luck, some of the cute nurses would stop up while on break to catch up on Saved By The Bell, Full House, and Fresh Prince on TBS with me and also snack a bit as hungry twenty-something girls are bound to do. All the while they would ask me silly questions about girls I was supposedly dating or had kissed and generally making a schoolboy blush a bit as you can imagine. I fondly remember having huge crushes on the nursing staff and students that would come and go from our little regional medical center. Being the kickoff of National Nurse’s Week, I wanted to break it down. I examined the phenomenon under a microscope and “took the vitals” of it if you will to get a better understanding of it. Here are the key points I noted in my desirability discovery.

TL;DR, here are reasons why nurses can be attractive:

  • She is smart
  • Red & white colors are sensual colors
  • Traditional nurses’ attire
  • Nurturing appear
  • She knows her way around a body
  • She can be a party-animal

Her Brain Is Her Sexiest Asset

Artist’s rendering of Yakko Warner, the middle brother who is most infatuated with Hello Nurse. Source: DeviantArt

A nursing degree, for the most part, takes a standard 4-year college career. Add in some more for a radiology specialist or anesthesiology aide.  As a college graduate myself, an education accomplishment is an attractive quality for my partner to have. If you seek a smarter life partner, someone smarter than themselves as some would add, a nurse is an ideal partner to have. Problem-solving skills, people skills, and persistence are key attributes that make a successful doctor’s aide. They are no stranger to long nights at the library followed by an early morning coffee stop at the Student Union before the big exam. Many nights have been spent sponging up biology, chemistry, and calculus studies, while other co-eds were getting hammered and stoned before a MassComm midterm.

The Psychological Meaning Behind the Colors White and Red

Source: Adweek

While that gorgeous geek was busy… um, not getting busy during her college days, she is likely as virgin as the alpine snow. Typically, a variation of the caduceus is the international nursing symbol, but I was unable to scope out any erotic meaning behind it, but the standard cross had something to it in it’s colors I believe. White, being the outlining color of the Red Cross logo, has transcended through the generations as being the color or virginity or purity. It is a soft and comforting mix of all the colors of the light spectrum. It is also man’s instinct to conquer and destroy so virgins and those deemed puritanical are naturally appealing to the alpha-male who loves being the first at anything. It is said to be the same color of the light you see when having an out-of-body experience so also coming out of one and seeing your lovely lifesaver come into focus around it may coincide there somehow. On the second tone of the Red Cross logo, red is the color of life, love, sexuality and even carnal and sensual thought. Red dresses, red lips, red shoes and the matching red purses are often in a lady’s dating arsenal and for good cause she knows. Add these colors together and you have a great spectral love concoction that is proven to overpower the male psyche. Now how exactly assorted candies, floral prints and penguins over pastels adorning what are basically pajamas are sexually stimulating is still a mystery, however.

Traditional Uniform Accentuates Female Form

Source: Animated Film Reviews

Now while the scrubs of today are not what have always been worn, the traditional nurses skirt and blouse very much show off a girl’s goods. The white heels and white stockings don’t help with that little white hat with the same entrancing cross emblem are not helping either. To add, every girl has a waistband (a belt… let’s be reasonable and just call things what they are. I already called the shirt a “blouse” for crying outloud!) or two that goes with a number of her dresses. She does this to put emphasis on her breasts and hips while slimming the waist more or just defining it better. She knows from experience and it is even scientifically proven that curves cause responses in the male brain. Evidence shows curves were seen by the prehistoric caveman as positive fertility trait – wide hips, full breasts, strong, juicy thighs. These were signs she could fair the long winters with the a healthy supply of fat and birth their children safely. Ladies’ outfits today are designed around this trigger response. You will notice scrubs do strangely look nice on curvy girls with a little more junk in the trunk anyway. It is all about the cinching and showing off the of the curves these days.

Nurturing Mother Figure

Hello_NurseYes, Oedipus Rex did have the hots for his mom and Freud seems to think their is some sexual desire in all men to get with there mother. I myself like to think it is the nurturing factor a nurse provides. Caring for you in sickness and injury, feeding you, bathing you, even wiping your ass if that’s your thing and you have no shame. Nurses simply exude selflessness and and that is one of the ingredients to a great relationship and that is an attractive trait no matter what your profession or gender is. In fact, the ability empathize is the most commonly picked emotional traited when asked what both men and women seek in a life partner. Everybody just wants to be heard and understood and nurses are trained on this, which is known as active listening, or reflective listening. Also, knowing what is best for you is always a motherly duty. In a medical emergency, most folks are unsure how to treat themselves so a nurse is a comforting figure to have around as she knows how to mend the aches and pains. She is a savior in this sense making her desirable partner.

She Knows Her Way Around A Body

Source: Imgur

Along with all the chemistry this babe can brew up, anatomy was another subject she spent hours boning up on. From checking your rapid-fire heart beat to the tempurature of your nervous, shaky and clammy palm, she can find out more about you than you would like. Nothing is more embarrassing than your mate or date knowing how your bowel movements are doing or a knockout cutie delivering your colitis diagnosis to you with an almost uninterrupted flow. Nurses are within close proximity of patients all day, so what ever issues you have are nothing compared to what might have happened today alone. She can however pinpoint all the areas men have G-spots, which most are located in the male rectum and not your known groin area if you were unbeknown to that. You may think you know what you like, but she can blow your… mind… and show you eroticism only found in the pages of Christian Grey’s life. Again, her sexiest asset is by far her mind.

Live-saver By Day, Party Animal By Night

This mixture is well-known in the nursing community as a "B-52". When introduced intravenously, it will knock cold the most unruly patient.
This mixture is well-known in the nursing community as a “B-52”. When introduced intravenously, it will knock cold the most unruly patient. Source: Scrubs

Even though she sees liver diseased alcoholics dying on the daily, ashtray-esque lungs embalmed in pickling fluid and has likely been in the room for an amputation of a junkie’s arm, do you think that stops her from addictive behavior? Hell, her doctor and her might be there one day too! The wildest of turkeys and most royal of crowns could not hold a candle to the B-52 she can concoct, good sir. As Maynard from A Perfect Circle said, “she’s got all that I need… pharmacy keys…” With a cigarette waiting behind her ear, she will drink and smoke you under the table, and awake after slightly 2 short hours needing only a quick “pick-me-up” of the dog that barely nipped her and a cup of Joe before her 12 hour shift starts… her next 12-hour shift starts that is… it has been a long week. High stress can lead to unhealthy drug abuse, but in most cases nurses and doctors are secretly known for being party animals.

In thanks to all the lovely nurses out there…

Source: DeviantArt

Take the time during this commemorative week to thank the nurses in your life and whom you will encounter. While you drive home from your cushy desk job today, think of the nurses everywhere wiping the poopy butts and bubbling lips, taking any and all bodily fluid samples, and cramming her lunch in between her rounds. Give them a hand people!! It takes many skills and guts I simply do not have and cannot believe some people do. Girls are all a little crazy so it stands to be that it would be a female dominate career – you would have to be a little crazy to take the job! Also, I want to thank the male nurses, or “murses”, who may have felt left out of my post. Your duties are appreciated as well, by awe-struck female patients I am sure. Whoever they are, get them a card, some nice flowers, or simply just reach out and thank them for all they do for those who cannot do it for themselves. Chances are, you will find your ass and lips being wiped, fluids taken and be “that patient” with whom she losses her patience with some day so pay it forward now! Also, next time you are on a plane, and there is a serious medical emergency, ask for the REAL hero you will hope (for more than one reason) is onboard…

“Quick, is there a NURSE on the plane?!”

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